A Unified Theory of LOST

Long live Juliette ... my one and only constant.

Whew! Color me pleased. Who could have predicted such a heavy presence from the one and only Jacob in the season five finale of the greatest show on television ... LOST? Well, I could.

That's right, I knew it. I knew Juliet was doomed to die at the bottom of the shaft. I knew John Locke occupied the Ajira crate the other other's had with them. I knew Jacob gave Jack a tasty Apollo bar. I knew everything. How, you ask?

Because I'm Esau! I'm the man in black! I'm Smokey ... Cerberus ... the judge, jury and executioner of the isle of paradise. The island known to many as ... Eden.

So, where does this breathtaking finale leave us? So many questions answered, so many more raised (so to speak). Speaking of puns, do you now believe that the warnings delivered from Claire (Don't you dare raise him!) and Hurley (Don't bring him back!) actually referred to JOHN LOCKE and not lil' Aaron? Were they speaking on behalf of Jacob, as if they knew bringing Locke back to island would result in the destruction of Jacob?

Or am I blowing your fucking mind right now?

What the hell did Ilana mean when she said Lapidus might make a good candidate? Candidate for what?

What was the significance of the end title card turning white with black letters as opposed to the long established pattern of black with white letters?

Why do I have to wait until December to buy the DVDs? Damn you, Darlton!

OK, let us consider the information we now possess and see if we can't put together a broad theory. What do we know?

We know Jacob and the man in black (a man I will call Esau) are locked in some kind of contest or struggle ... and it seems to be about the nature of man. Very biblical, methinks. We know Esau wants Jacob dead and will stop at nothing to accomplish this. We know Jacob brought the Black Rock to the island. We know (come on, we really do!) that Richard is from the Black Rock.

And most importantly, we know Ben stabbed Jacob and faux Locke kicked him into the fire! How symbolic!

I don't know about you, but I am not convinced Jacob is completely good. I want to believe he is, but I'm just not certain. How interesting that Jacob so closely resembles the God of the Old Testament and I still feel that way. Yeah, I'm packing for warm weather when I die!

Consider the implications of Esau/Smokey playing John Locke from his first days on the island. What a mindfuck, huh? It seems Locke was a weak, easily manipulated pawn in some quasi-deity's game. I hope it isn't true. Consider the death of Eko in this new context. Smokey scanned him and discovered he couldn't use him for his purposes. Oh, Mr. Eko. You stubborn fool!

We have always thought Desmond was responsible for bringing 815 to the island. Remember when he forgot to turn the key? But now ... maybe not? Jacob was all over time and space touching our beloved castaways. To what end? Are they horcruxes? Are they enlightened? Are they just really soft (we know Hurley is)? BTW, he did not touch Juliet or Miles. Think they'll be with the rest next season? Exactly!!!

Speaking of Desmond, he can't be done, can he? Come on! He was the fucking key to the whole thing! Surely he'll be back. Maybe he'll come sailing back aboard Elizabeth. Don't let Desmond's story be done!

OH, YEAH! We now know Charles Whidmore is definitely a good guy! Right? He assigned Abbadon to protect Locke, perhaps knowing that if he died Esau/Smokey would pretend to be him and manipulate Ben into killing Jacob! That makes him good! That's why he wanted to get Ben off the island in the first place!!! That's why he sent Keamy aboard the freighter to get him. He was trying to protect Jacob. I don't know, though ... Chuck Whidmore as good guy just doesn't feel right.

And that brings me to my final point. I remember so clearly watching John Locke teach young Walt the rules of Backgammon. "It's a game with two sides. One is light and one is dark." That always stuck with me. He did not say good and bad ... he said light and dark. I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be no good or bad guys when this is over. There will just be people making good or bad choices. Just like life.

The good guys aren't always good and the bad guys aren't always bad.

Or maybe I should just wake up and realize Jacob is God and Esau is Satan. Because they are.

My new constant ... Claire!